Chapter 1; Part 1; Now

This pillow might belong to Jesus. And let me tell you why in one sentence; It feels like heaven. I've never felt a softer pillow in my life. In my 17 years of life, not a single pillow has stood up to this one. I never want to leave it. And this blanket! Jesus Christ! Fucking amazing, its so warm, like a fresh white chocolate chip cookie out of the oven. And this blanket is cacooning me into pure happiness. So perfect. But of course, it's 7:15 which technically means i need to get up. Get up from this piece of heaven. My first thought was "No. Please don't do this to me."

School. Those 6 letters put together is what i despise the most out of life. Well, no i don't, i just wish school started at like 3 pm. That would be nice. I hate getting up early. I feel like its a chore, and i never do it.
I'm laying there, mentally forcing myself up, stretching, arching my back up to the sky. Rubbings the fucking sand out of my eyes. Why so much sand, i swear i could have my own beach. I finally get up, walk to the bathroom, wash my face, then i notice a hand print on my face. Great, i slept on my hand again. Why do I do that? I brush my teeth and let my shaggy hair stay the way it is, because "I don't care. " I walk back into my room. It's messy, paint splattered everywhere. I need to stop doing that. I spend the next 10 mins getting ready, driving to school, and eating my granola bar at the red lights. Deciding what i should listen to, Anberlin or Chiodos, in the end i pick the radio. Shit, i forgot my lunch money.

And of course, not a single parking spot. This is Yate Highs School for ya. I've been going there for about a month or so, and I love the experience of going to a new school. It's a habit you get from moving around so much. Dad's job, but of course. And the kids here, their weird... or maybe I'm weird. Nahhhhh. But in my opinon weird people are the best. I havent fit into any of the "groups" at this school. I never had. Now, i feel like i have no point too, because it all leads to drama. I wish life was more simple. Simplicity is really the answer to life The only time i ever felt like i was part of something that involved school, was at John Concord high school. Freshman year. That was a long time ago.

I always forget how long these hallways are. This school is so big. Ironically the state of Maine has some big schools, and just so many people. It can get overwhelming, or not. Finally, my favorite class English. I love English, mostly because I speak it, but it's the true reason why i love school. I sit at my seat and wait for the bell to ring. Kids flood the room 4 seconds before the bell rings. Hmm theres Ryan, 5 bucks he didn't read the pages last night.

"Hey Jake did you read the pages last night?"
I knew it. You owe me 5 bucks.
"Dude, I've been going to this school for a month and i already know more about this system than you do."
"Jake, no, you don't understand, please."
"Man, no."
"Please. Do i need to bat my eyes and twirl my hair?"
That would be funny.
"Yes."
"Jake, Ryan, be quiet. Now class, today, you'll be getting with a partner and you'll be telling each other stories. Not just ordinary stories, but stories that have effected your life somehow. This will be a three day project. Today one of you will be telling the other person a story, and tomorrow will be vis versa. Then on Wednesday you both will be comparing your stories and write an essay on the comparison of two stories. Now, get your partner and share."

Memories start flooding my head.
I smile to myself, and think about Christa. I think I'll pick that story. It's somewhat life changing, and defiantly important.

"Okay, dude, Jake, you go first, I don't feel like talking."
Ironically he won't ever stop talking.
"Ha, you don't have a story do you?"
"Mmmmm nope. I'll think of something tonight."
"Fine, my story is about a girl name Christa."
"Did you do her?"
I glare at him.
"Eeesh sorry, continue."

I stopped. I wasn't sure how to start. I mean you can't just say this story, it has to be set up so perfectly. I searched threw the files in my head to find where it all started. The first file i could find was one that said "Dissapointed."

The Orphaned Anything's;

“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”-e. e. cummings

Honestly, I don't know how I do it. Stay so happy, and content with my life. Only few know how. And i think reaching this point of mind is one thing that is very hard to find. You can not search for this type of happiness, it comes too you.

Few grasp on to it, but its the epiphany you have once the idea of this type of happiness comes to you. We all seek Nirvana, but honestly, Nirvana is wrong in alot of ways. I could sit here and argue with my computer about the idea of it, but I won't. I wish I had a name for this type of happiness. I'll name it Nico for now.

Nico is a type of happiness that comes once you learn to look at everything for what it really is. For example; Realizing that a friend you've always had, is more than just a friend. That friend is really one of those friends who would die for you, and honestly mean it.
Nico is when you start to appreciate your friends, and tell them how good of a friend they are, and consistently remind them.

Nico is not just a happiness though, it is also a state of mind, when you really realize things. For example; I was walking down the hall today, and everything slowed down, i heard a funny conversation and laughed at it, smiled an went on my way. I saw this girl walking down the hallway opposite of me, and she also had a smile on, but it faded. As if humor wasn't good enough for her, as if the idea of being happy wasn't enough. Being able to Nico is to keep walking down that hall with idea's roaming in your eyes, and a mouthful of happiness that's waiting to be talked about.

Nico, is really all about realizing thing's you thought you realized before, but no. Its not like that. Nico is something special, once the idea of wanting happiness, but not like striving for it. Nico comes in time, you have to work for it. Once you are able to go to sleep, and think to yourself "life is good" than you have reached Nico. Nico affects your life more than you think. Stupid problems seem to fade, or become pointless. Nico smoothes everything out for you. Nico is utter blissfulness.

I really owe my idea of life to Stephen Christian. No, he didn't teach me this idea of Nico. But once stepped on a path for me to follow his in foot steps.

I have all these ambitions and dreams that i want to succeed in. And that's what's wrong with the world. I don't see ambitions or dreams at all, all i see is greed, and ungratefulness. Nico is not about that. And I am glad I have reached Nico, because now I've learned that there is more to living than being alive. Even if im 24, with a job at a local coffee shop, and no love life, at least i know, that theres more to living than being alive, and that i can go to sleep, and tell myself that "Life is Good."

To the people that really helped me reach this; Stephen, Bella, Erika, and Nico.